A day in the life of...

The young have something no one else has or ever will have. Time.

It's true. We are smart, beautiful and...alcoholic.

Thursday, June 20, 2013

"I'm gonna make you girls a hump day treat!"

We all have those moments when going out for a few dozen drinks and getting really really hammered on a week night is a good idea. It never is. The next day the hangover is pounding through the skull anf there is work or study to get through. And no one understands why you look like you're about to throw up all over their shoes. Remember that the next time you go for mid-week drinks.

If only we could take our own advice.

A went out for drinks with a guy from work who she suspected was hitting on her. He is firmly in her friend zone, so she did what any self-respecting girl would do...went to hit on someone else. Turns out the guy she chose was a weirdo who insisted he was Kazakhtsan but A has her doubts. He all got her number and won't stop messaging. Doesn't seem to understand the concept of a phase out. This is a hangover that just may last more than 24 hours.

J went to a gig to a gig with rock chick. The band wasn't very good, although the bassist was incredibly good looking. J had a few shots and geared herself up to go pop a hip and flirt with him, but as it turned out he was the designated driver. Not only did he seem to disapprove of drinking mid-week, but there was absolutely nothing that could be done to convince him to stick around when he had to drive a bunch of arrogant hooligans home.

L won't be seen until she emerges from her study cave after exams are over. A typical L move of course, except that it is clear she is making time for her boyfriend.

Monday, June 10, 2013

"What is this place? Hogwarts?"

Sometimes you just get desperate for a root. With all the lack of options lately, J decided to jump the first semi-attractive guy she met on Saturday night. She didn't even take her socks off, so it wasn't that big of a deal.

Unfortunately, the guy confessed to her, in the morning, that he'd once hooked up with her friend. Years ago. J was blank. She'd never met this guy before, and A would definitely have warned her if she was going after her seconds. A is good like that. But no. The friend he was talking about was B. So it was years ago then.

Turns out J did remember him after all. Before hooking up with B he'd said to her 'kissies now?' and then had asked her back to his place but assured her that they 'didn't have to do anything'.

Some things you are best off not knowing.

Monday, June 3, 2013

What we're doing this month...

Loving: being able to wear our collection of patterned black stockings again
Listening to: Deftones
Crushing on: John Bender from The Breakfast Club
Worshipping: John Hughs

Eating: pork sausage rolls
Drinking: mulled wine by the fire place

Rocking: studded ankle boots
Reading: the Dante Valentine series by Lilith Saintcrow
Failing: to go to the doctor when we need to

Monday, May 27, 2013

"Almost getting it kind of together"

All is going well for J, since A and her A-replacement rock chick get along like a house of fire. It's definitely a good thing when your 2 best friends get along. The only thing worrying J is that they won't have enough guys to go around. Except A had something of an epiphany while on her recent trip. It's not about how attractive they are, it's about how they make you feel. Apparently this was picked up while she was screwing the Napoleon-Dynamite-esque German who was 'definitely not her type'. She had so much fun with him, and it was so unexpected, and now she's become all smug about her sex life. Well, woohoo A.

Rock chick has been sleeping with a skater guy with a really big nose who she is embarrassed to be seen with and so is trying to keep it on the down low. It isn't really working, probably because he seems to be following her around and preventing her from hooking up with other guys. Yeah, we know how this is done. We saw it all before with J and Wow. Rock chick claims not to like him, then she spends all day in bed with him. This is not the way great romances begin. Or, for that matter, end.

J is still flirting ridiculous with Blondie. He still has his ridiculous girlfriend. And his friend is still ridiculously in love with rock chick. So it's all ridiculous. Great. For J, sex has basically become a memory.

M has had to move out of A's house now that she is back. She has moved back in with her dad and sister. Just temporarily because she has booked flights to Paris next month. One-way flights. No return. She has also stopped seeing her boyfriend with the hilarious name. E seems genuinely concerned about her mental state but M keeps saying she is fine. She does find living back home endlessly awkward, and still doesn't know how to react to her parents acting half like horny teenagers and half like adults who have no idea what the fuck is going on. Cringe-worthy. A is living with her brother, who is still going through bouts of misery. Not over his now ex-girlfriend or the bad case of worms he had but just generally. Like the rest of us, he is starting to realise he has no idea where in life he is going and it is freaking him out.

No one has heard much from L. She told A that they had to grab lunch and she wanted to hear about her trip and then bailed. She hasn't been at mutual friends' birthday parties. It seems she has become one of those girls that gets a boyfriend and vanishes. Or perhaps it's because no one likes her boyfriend and she can't take him anywhere.

At least G has her shit together. She just doesn't have any interesting stories.

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

"Been a long lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely time"

A is finally back home and M is relieved. When A's younger brother finally managed to get on to his new girlfriend, she dumped him. Poor guy was devastated. First break-ups are hard. It probably didn't help that a day later he discovered he had worms. M didn't really know what to say. She should know, since she's been through more break-ups than everyone else put together and was really down and out after she split up with E. Then it turned out the girlfriend has depression and was going through a really rough time and A's brother had no idea what to say to that. They hadn't been together long enough for him to play the supportive boyfriend role. But he doesn't want to be the jerk either. Luckily A arrived home just in time to give the advice he needed. Which was blow her off, get really drunk, hook up with three different girls, and show up to the footy the next day hungover and angry. Not such great advice. M stepped in, kind of digging the big sister role. Even though she has a younger sister. But her sister is going through real issues ever since their parents divorce and M doesn't really want to face any of that. Either way A's brother is back to being single and ready to mingle. That is, back to his old player status. A is just loving this shit.

M is still dating the guy with the funny name but feels as if it's going nowhere. Which it probably is. She feels a bit depressed about life in general and how she has no idea what she's doing. She tried to explain these feelings to the boyfriend, but he didn't seem to understand. She spoke to E about it instead and they had a long D and M about their lives and how they are not turning out the way they expected. It seems the days are numbered for M and her new guy. After speaking with A about her trip, she's also decided to take the next semester off and travel. Sometimes you just need a break to sort your shit out.

Not that A sorted any of her shit out while she was away. She is her usual self. She's over and out of uni and working full time in retail. She seems surprised that this isn't boring her, but that's probably a good thing. It means she can drink every night and not worry about responsibilities or deadlines or any of the other stuff she had to worry about before. It's the ultimate in freedom. Unfortunately it means she's now intellectually dead and her brain can't even comprehend the simplest parts of the newspapers. She's not up for any kind of intellectual conversation, and that used to be A's thing. Maybe it came from hooking up with an American overseas (who was apparently irritating and ditched her to suck-up to some fuddy duddy academic) or from her socially retarded German who was as goofy as Napoleon Dynamite. Probably it's a burn-out from studying all summer. Still, A has returned convinced she not only has a commitment problem but that she's also dissociated emotionally as well. That's probably true, but A can't bring herself to care about it all that much.

J is going through a dry spell. Ever since she decided she no longer wanted to be with the punk guy who was a little too into anal sex for her liking, there has been nothing. Except for Blondie, the guy in the band that she and rock chick hang out with. But Blondie, while being hot and having the exact same opinion as hers on every Queens of the Stone Age song, has a psychotic girlfriend and no balls to break up with her. Or maybe he's happy with her. Who knows? He doesn't seem happy. Whenever she isn't around he bitches about her jealous behavior while downing Jack and coke like it's going out of fashion (and that is a drink that, unlike the Cosmo, will not go out of fashion). Whenever she is around he's all smiles and the perfect boyfriend. Except that his eye twitches. Manically. They appear to have nothing in common. But maybe opposites attract. Whatever. J is never going to make the first move. Because he has a girlfriend. But he flirts with her constantly and it's driving her insane. His other friend still seems to be in love with rock chick who couldn't be less into him. She is pissed off though, because the metal head she was having fantastic sex with told her to 'get serious' and that they could no longer have sex because she wasn't serious enough.

And let's be honest, who wants to be more serious than what they already are?

Friday, May 3, 2013

"What are you going to do? Steal a car? Burn down a house? Punch out the captain of the water polo team? Those ships have sailed, my friend."

No love will ever compare to my love of hats.

With A still out of the country and out of the loop, J has had to entertain herself. Well her and her new friend rock chick. Who is the coolest of the cool, with hair so long she could wipe her arse with, an amazing taste in music and friends in every local metal band, and a vegan diet. She's like H, except more hippie and more outrageous. Rock chick is like J, in that she will fuck anything and not give a shit and doesn't expect to see that guy ever again. Rock chick is not like J, in that she doesn't feel the urge to flee immediately after sex but is happy to sit around all day watching old episodes of Faulty Towers with a guy she may never see again. They've been going to a lot of gigs together, and drinking a lot of cider together (and the weather has turned cold now and that is not at all enticing) and hanging out with random people who think they are creative but are really just on drugs. Or the dole. But usually both.

Rock chick was sleeping with this metal head who was a few years older than her and charming in an egocentric kind of way. J thought he was a twat but whatever. Rock chick claimed he was so good in bed that when he drove her back to his place she'd get so hot she'd have to masturbate in the car. J has never had sex quite that good. But then, not so many people have.

Lately they've been hanging out with a group of three guys they just met. They are all in a band, naturally, but the band isn't half bad and they can actually afford to pay their rent without demanding money from the government. That's something right? Anyway out of the three, one is permanently single because he goes for girls way out of his league, one has a jealous girlfriend and the third just got out of a 5 year relationship. Of course the third one instantly got a crush on rock chick because she is undeniably awesome, attractive and unattainable. All the things guys want. And of course J instantly wanted the guy with the girlfriend. Because everyone wants what they can't have. Especially J. But really they should just all remain friends. Because when you find people whose musical tastes almost exactly match yours, there are way better things to do than have sex. Leave that to the metal heads with the car.

Wednesday, May 1, 2013

What we're doing this month...

Loving: the new season of Girls
Listening to: The Angels
Crushing on: Luke Treadaway...yeah it's probably the English accent so what?
Worshipping: Chloe Sevigny

Eating: mug cakes
Drinking: cider

Rocking: paisley printed jeans
Reading: Dead Witch Walking by Kim Harrison
Failing: to remember the name of the guy we're sleeping with