"When strange things happen, are you going round the twist?"

Do I look insecure to you?

Why is it, that if a woman is single and has a lot of sex people seem to think there's something wrong with her? That she must, be, like, really insecure and disrespect herself and, um, whatever. Of course, guys who have a lot of sex are considered 'normal' and if they aren't chasing after pussy whenever they're single there must be something wrong with them.

Ugh, stereotypes.

It hasn't been a good week just trying to be ourselves.

M has gone back to uni to study design and she hates that she's the oldest person in her class, surrounded by a bunch of people that listen to One Direction and can't remember Round the Twist. She doesn't want to be the old fart, but sometimes she can't help but think how immature the people around her are. Which of course makes her act like she is even more old and stuffy, when of course we can all act like kids sometimes.

L and A are turning into typical boring law students (and also alcoholics, because no law student turns down beer and dumplings) who stay up late reading 500 page judgments and forget to put make-up on the mornings.

And J? J is in trouble. She has a new Wow. A new semi-stalker, guy she once slept with who is now acting like he's in love with her. And maybe he is. But J does not need that. She never lead him on or suggested she liked him for anything more than the occasional drink and fuck. She's started hanging out with him and his mates and thought they were friends. He obviously wants to be more than that and won't take no for an answer. He keeps telling her she's beautiful and smart and talented...and that she may be 'the one'. J doesn't want to know that. She told him she just wanted to be friends. Why does this keep happening to her? It doesn't help that one of her uni 'mates' suggested to her that she must have low self-esteem which is why she sleeps around a lot instead of having a boyfriend. Right, because every girl wants and needs a boyfriend.

Why can't we just have fun?

"My ony interests are drinking wine and judging people"

This blog (not mine, obviously) is for anyone who's ever found living in Melbourne subtly or overtly hilarious, or who just wants to know more about it.

But for now, Melbourne is not the place making us laugh so hard we cry.

A has returned from her mysterious trip to Bali with V, and surprise surprise doesn't want to talk about it at all. But then, maybe she doesn't have time. A's life has taken a turn for the frantic and she really couldn't afford that week off. A hasn't been as fun since she's so busy planning for the future and all of her days seem filled with job interviews and reading old stuffy books and drinking nothing stronger than tea. What has happened to the real A?

L is also super busy with uni and work and shit like that. But after a crazy holidays filled with too much wine and a few 6am cab rides home from hotels (those dudes are judgmental! L was just hanging out with new-found friends) it's time for her to go back to being a good girl anyway. She was supposed to catch up with B and K who are home again, but they keep bailing on her. And then the next day pictures pop up of them on facebook having a smashing time...without her of course.

Meanwhile M is back to being good friends with E and they try to ignore the fact that they were once having really good sex. They're both currently single, but they went through too much shit when E was overseas to just get back together. M may also be slightly relationship-scarred from the quickie divorce of her parents. Her mum may be quick to jump into a relationship but M is more like her dad. She's cautious and doesn't want to get hurt again. She's also trying to remain open minded about her mum's new partner but the more time she spends with him the less she likes him. She feels he's trying too hard to be her dad. She's old enough that she doesn't need a new father, but she gets that her mum feels like she needs something. She can't respect her mum for her decisions, but she wants everyone to be happy. Christmas at their house sure is going to be awkward this year. M's little sister has hardly spoken to their mother since she moved out.

J is her usual party animal self although she is no longer hanging out with best-sex-she's-ever-had or his band anymore which she's rather disappointed about. Best-sex broke up with his (possible pregnant, but probably not) girlfriend for a month and spent most of it sleeping with J and anyone else he could find. But then they decided to get back together and act all coupley and J felt awkward about the whole thing so she decided to stop hanging out with them. She was only in it for the sex (and maybe the pain) anyway, and after best-sex asked her if she like liked him she did freak out a little because what business did he have asking her questions like that? Now she's hanging out with a different band. She slept with one of the guys months ago but doesn't really like him. No, she's in to one of his other mates who is a bit of a jerk and never calls her back. But the first guy seems a bit in love with her and keeps asking her to hang out during the day. Uh, no. J also hasn't seen Druggie in forever and is rather concerned about her. A has seen her a couple of times as they work close to each other and Druggie keeps saying she can't hang out with anyone at the moment because she needs to spend all her time with her boyfriend. Obviously he's back to being over-the-top and possessive.

G is starting to talk seriously about breaking up with her boyfriend who she has been with forever. Like, since high school forever. Like, this entire blog forever. He wasn't very supportive after her car accident (he was away at the time but returned home shortly after) and she found she didn't miss him very much while she was overseas. This is G's last semester of university and she has several job offers for next year (did I ever mention G was wicked smart?) including some interstate. One is an amazing opportunity and she is thinking about taking it. Her boyfriend doesn't want her to and G thinks maybe she should break up with him and just go for it. But at the same time it has been a long time since G was single and she dreads the thought of being alone. Other than A all of her friends are in relationships and she finds the whole concept of being single quite foreign. But she isn't sure if the relationship she's in is making her as happy as it once did.

"Watch it fly by as the pendulum swings"

The most entertaining bus trips? Probably the one where the tweenage girl behind you is busy pulling glossy lipped poses and taking selfies for forty minutes and the girl in front of you announces to a random guy on the bus that she is a prostitute and offered her services which resulted in them getting off the bus at the next stop. It all kind of makes you wonder why you usually take the tram. Clearly, the bus is better for entertainment value. Even if the guy who has his pet rats sitting on his shoulders isn't there.

Ah, Melbourne. We love you.

A has apparently taken off on a trip to Bali. With V. Apparently said trip was free. Doesn't stop the what-the-fuck moments.

M has taken off on a trip up North with her mum and her mum's new boyfriend to go sailing. This is despite the fact that her dad is in a bit of a depression about how fast her mum has moved on (ahem affair) and M is more than slightly irritated about her mum's desperation to play happy families with a new guy. Definite what-the-fuck moment.

Two days after a threesome with best-sex-she's-ever-had and his best mate, J got a call from best-sex asking, "Do you like like me?" What. The. Fuck.

Ah, Melbourne. We hate you.

"The busy have no time for tears"

Sorry for the lack of posting of late. We've all been frantic putting together internship applications, filling up our CVs with extra-curricular activities and volunteer work, going to the footy, drinking, making an arse out of ourselves at national competitions and working our usually shitty jobs. One day I will have time for a proper post but for now...

J: has found herself a new group of punk-rocker friends and has been smoking and having ridiculous orgies with said band dudes. Occasionally one of them makes some statement she just doesn't understand (usually assuming that because she's a girl she must be obsessed with cuddles and relationships) but she chooses to ignore that and keep smoking. It's second semester of uni and that's never been a good sign for J. The dead bodies are piling up in one of her classes (so they can cut it open, it's a medical elective) and all her friends are deferring.

A: has been in a funk since she couldn't find the cute English boy she fell in love with for a night. Decided to distract herself by entering a ridiculous number of mooting competitions so she can crush annoying law students and forget about the shitty things that are happening in her life. She's also started an affair with one of her opponents, but it's not love. It's just sex. She's also been caught still hanging out with V, but what else is new?

G: returned from her trip overseas, where she only bumped into C once. Admitted that she is thinking about breaking up with her boyfriend which will never happen because they are the most solid couple ever. We hope.

M: is trying to do the 'just friends' thing with E. It's even sort of working. She's also been dealing with her new post-separation parents. Her dad is depressed and M has no idea what she's supposed to say to him. Her mum has shacked up with her new boyfriend who keeps trying to win M over by inviting her and her sister on boating trips. Some of them even sound kind of fun. M doesn't want a new father though and she really doesn't respect her mum dating so soon.

L: managed to get the dream job working at the footy, except now people keep throwing up all over her and that is not a good thing. She's starting to think maybe football isn't so fun now that it's work. Has also been up to her ears in competitions and needed to blow off some steam- she was found leaving a random hotel room early one morning and hightailing it home in a taxi. She didn't accept the guy's facebook friend request. That girl is starting to behave like A.

B and K are also back from overseas and have started harassing L to hang out again. J still hasn't heard from then since her disastrous night out with B. Oh, well.

What we're doing this month...

Loving: The Olympics...we love a bit of women's gymnastics, pole vault and butterfly
Listening to: The Living End, super excited about their one-album-a-night shows
Crushing on: James Magnussen
Worshipping: Chinese swimmer Yi Shewan...and we're all hoping the drug cheat rumours are unfounded
Eating: Pad See Ew, we love fat noodles!
Drinking: mulled wine
Rocking: brightly coloured skinny jeans
Reading: 50 Shades of Grey?? Um...no
Failing: to get enough sleep