"Education is what remains after one has forgotten what one has learned in school." -Albert Einstein

You aren't really a uni student unless you have a stash of medicated throat lozenges at the bottom of your bag.

B isn't quite a real uni student yet. Overheard saying while she was in Sydney, "Do you think I should come back early on Monday? I have lectures and I don't want to miss them. I could fly back early at a cost of $100. What do you think?" I mean really. Lectures aren't even compulsory and they're almost always online anyway. And for an EXTRA hundred dollars? It's not even a question really. Considering that the combined number of hopurs A and J attended last year would be less than a first-year part-time arts students (J studies science, A a double degree) and the marks they acheieved it's fairly obvious class attendence is a lesser neccessary than bar night attendence. She'll soon learn.

K is currently on her uni camp. An oddity as the camp appears to be organised for actual educational purposes and not an excuse for excessive alcohol consumption. It was also mandatory. What sort of instituion does K go to anyway? Probably the sort of place that's perfect for K as she's an oddity anyway.

A has already skipped approximately half her lectures already although only 2 tutorials. Sometimes she had legitimate reasons for them, like attending the various number of welcome to uni BBQs to keep her feeling full. Sometimes she just couldn't be bothered getting out of bed. Honestly. You'd think she'd get better in second year.

J is usually found smoking on the lawn, not in her lab classes, speaking Spanish with the hot guys from her French class.

H is studying part-time this year, possibly so she can work two jobs and pay the rent on her new manshion-sized apartment. Oddly, she's actually working harder than she was this time last year when she was there full-time. Perhaps H has matured. Perhaps she's really trying to impress her cute (and surprisingly young) chemistry tutor.

As for L, she's really always been a good student. She always has her textbooks by the end of the first week and is never found sneaking around the chem labs looking for explosives.

Despite their differences in uni-student-style they've all managed to fall ill in the last two weeks. Coughs, tissues, aching throats...it's March again and time for some bourbon, straight up. Best medicine there is.

"Psychosomatic addict insane" The Prodigy- Breathe

Labour Day. Otherwise known as no public holiday for unfortunate university students who have to struggle through classes while their parents, who supposedly work full-time, go on wine benders.

The weekend has been an interesting one, characterised by a freak storm that flooded half the city and flattened houses and cars with hail the size of tennis balls. This meant no public transport, which is more than a slight annoyance for a group of twenty-somethings who don't drive (we live in the city okay! we actually don't need to drive, everywhere worth going is a walkable distance or a 5 buck cab fare. besides, H has a car. not that she drives us anywhere). It also meant that pretty much all of the usual hang-outs were flooded and not suitable for human presence. Excellent. This equalled the first Saturday night spent at home in at least a year, drinking mugs of tea (chai or earl grey) and discovering that Foxtel was offering the movie channels for free this week.

B and K (and R) were lucky to miss the wacky weather as they were making their more-frequently-than-annual trip to Sydney. It should have been a weekend of drinking and debauchery and...well...it was. B and K remember little of it thanks to the bottles of tequila and vodka they consumed. A slab of UDL doesn't go far when B's around. Perhaps surprisingly, K was up for a good time and never once brought the mood down. She even found a cute Sydney guy willing to take her number. He hasn't called yet and she's none too pleased but really. You have to give them at least 3 days before you even consider checking your phone. B's trip was less pleasent although just as memorable. No one had informed the Sydney friends that B and R had broken up and they were forced to share a room together. B spent the weekend trying to ignore R, but soon ended up in a massive fight with him. She told him in no uncertain terms that she wanted him out of her life, and expecially out of her house once they got home. Because he seems to have an odd way of dealing with confrontation, R ignored the argument and simply switched rooms with K. B was furious at his attempt to brush the problem away and spent most of the trip either seething silently or acting very passive aggressive towards R. If he doesn't make any attempt to look for his own place in the next week, she's vowed to gather up all his stuff and kick him to the curb. Literally. It's unlikely she'll uphold the promise.

J, H, A and L headed off to the Future Music Festival on Sunday. They spent the entire day front row on the bar, screaming the lyrics to Franz Ferdinand and The Prodigy. It alternated between being stinking hot in the belting sunlight and storming with rain. J made the perfect wardrobe choice or a rainbow bikini. A, a long-time hater of idiots in mosh pits with backpacks and/or sombreros stole a guy's bag and threw it into the crowd. He tried to start a fight. She won, managing to get him crowd-surfed out. L was a surprising survivor of the mosh pit. Usually the one seen spiralling backwards through the crowd, beginning a set in the second row and ending it in the fifteenth, she held her ground. It was a good bar to hang on to. H got involved in a bitchfight with a slutty girl she knew from uni. The girl went home with a rather large cheeck gash. No one could swear for sure where she got it from.

"Remember to learn to forget, whiskey shots and cheap cigarettes" Green day- Before the Lobotomy

After a stressful 4 days at uni, and signing up for classes which caused L to have panic attacks, A, B, J, L, K and H spent the night downing cranberry and vodkas and red wine hidden in handbags. Sure there are classes on Fridays but it's about time we started skipping some classes.

The night started at a bar K has regularly been kicked out of. Somehow she managed to muscle her way in and claimed she would spent the night sober. Yeah right. Ten minutes later she was going drink for drink with A, which wasn't a good idea on her behalf and might explain why she is going to spend Friday throwing up while A will be heading off to class. It might also explain her later behaviour but that's doubtful.

J and B soon whipped out their cigarettes and took up smoking with a guy who was the son of one of our high school teachers. J was discussing future tattoos while B was querying whether all those stories we'd heard from our teachers were actually true. K, however wasn't pleased about the smoking development. She cracked the shits and walked out of the bar refusing to be 'a part of it' whatever that means. A chased her halfway down the street before rolling her eyes and returning to her red wine.

Half an hour later B gets a call from K demanding to know where she is. Worried about her safety everyone started running down suburban streets, screaming Blink 182 and Rage Against the Machine lyrics. Because really, what's walking the streets without a little bit of madness? K was nowhere to be seen. B started to get worried, because she always thinks she's responsible for K which is ridiculous.

While H and J took a piss in someone's garden B began frantically calling K. A and L were subtly swigging more red wine. K finally turned up on the shoulder of some guy no one had ever seen before. He claimed to be Australian but had a clear kiwi accent and to think he accused A of sounding American. The guy announced he was meeting some friends at another pub that had a band. Everyone loves a band so off we went. The guy continued on his bad first impression by blatently flirting with both J and B. B muttered 'fucking foul' under her breath while K sat there and fumed.

Once the band started everyone was dancing like crazy. A, H and L were sharing a jug of beer until K started pouring it on the floor. In response H tucked the jug under her arm and the the three of them turned away to ignore her. Meanwhile J and B were outside smoking and flirting with these two guys they'd just met. K kept trying to convince them to join the others on the dancefloor but eventually J just told her to fuck off. K disappeared for awhile, only to be discovered by L 2 hours later making out with a different random guy in the alley.

By this point J had discovered the guy she was chatting to was a bad kisser and H was all but passed out on the floor so it was time for a Maccas run and walk home. A, B, J, L and H headed off, not realising until later they'd left K behind. This didn't bother any of them too much. Halfway on the walk they were chased by a bunch of guys on bikes. H screamed about gang rape and started sprinting only to trip over a pile of dirt. A got a leg cramp and managed to fall over while standing up straight. B and J had a water fight using someone's front garden tap.

By the time they reached Maccas they were all exhausted and it had started to rain. Even still, armed with Quarter Pounders and McChickens nothing really seems that bad. Until of course B receieves what can only be described as a screeching phone call from K, moments before a cab sped towards the McDonalds with K's head out the window and her screaming at B to 'get the fuck in'. She'd obviously been crying. B had no choice but to go home with her. The rest of us finished our second dinner (actually third in H's case, she'd had a cheap pizza at the second pub) before continuing our walk. A and J reached home soaked to the core while L and H couldn't take it and jumped in a cab.

Another night dealing with K's crazy antics. But hey, we always have stories to tell the next morning.

"The Chinese Restaurant" as in the Seinfeld episode

Lately Y has been spotted by everyone, everywhere. Or so it would seem.

It all started when L went out to a new chinese restaurant with her damily for dinner last week. The restaurant was practically empty, but soon after they arrived who was to walk in? Y and his father. Cue awkwardness. L wasn't sure whether she should say hi or not. After all, she doesn't really know Y. Y was J's almost-fuck buddy and almost-boyfriend for awhile. They spent three months furiously making out and exchanging dirty texts before J dropped him because they weren't having sex. It's still unclear why. J believed he couldn't get it up but to be fair, he was usually off his face drunk. Anyway L doesn't know him all that well. B and K do but they weren't there. Still L had seen him several times and was prepared to talk to him. In the end though she didn't have to. He completely barred her. Even though he was seated only a few metres away he didn't look anywhere near her throughout the meal and didn't acknowledge her presnce whatsoever.

Next H spotted him at university. This is not completely out of the blue since they go to the same place. However they are doing completely different subjects and H is only doing part-time this semester so she can work heaps to pay the rent on her huge new place. He barred her as well, turning and walking in the other direction.

K spotted him next, also at university although not the one he or H attends. He tried to get away from her but no one gets away from K that easily. She screamed after him so he turned to face the music.

An interesting sidenote is that K hooked up with (and claimed to fall in love with, although keep in mind she does fall in love at least once a week) one of Y's good friends who never called her back. When Y, J, K and the guy K hooked up with all went out one night after the whole fiasco K kicked him and abused him. Although everyone has seen Y since, no one has seen his friend.

When he realised there was no escaping K, Y had to stop and chat. Because she's a psycho K accused him of barring everyone, even going as far as mentioning the story about him and L in the Chinese restaurant. She started attacking him and told him even though he isn't seeing J anymore she thought she and him were still friends and was upset that he hadn't called her. And until then everyone'd thought K's calling demands were exclusive to boys she wanted a relationship with. Evidently not. Poor Y. It's never fun when someone else makes a huge scene and everyone is staring at some tiny chick screaming at you. Y barely got a word out to K. He tried to apologise but she just yelled over the top of him telling him to stay away from her unless he was going to be a 'loyal' friend.

Looks like no one will be seeing Y for awhile. No wonder he was ignoring everyone.

"Forget reality waking up is hard to do" Sum 41- Heart Attack

J, A and H had trouble sleeping last night.

A was dealing with her never-ending cough that woke her up every time she was starting to drift off into blissful sleep. It probably didn't help that she was starving after not managing to secure a dinner date for the night. She spent the whole day making eyes at first-years but obviously they were intimidated by an older woman.

J was worrying about the fact that she appeared to be sharing all her classes with her cousins this year. She wasn't sure whether she should hang out with them, or whether that would be cramping her style and making them think she didn't have any friends of her own. But then if she didn't sit with them in class would they think she was purposely barring them?

H had a night shift at work and later went out for drinks with some work buddies. After a few too many gin and tonics, H wanted to pass out for the rest of the day but then was reminded she had a class this morning. And it's still the first week.

What we're doing this month...

Loving: French Toast and watching He's Just Not That Into You
Listening to: The Killers and All Time Low
Crushing on: Cute guys at concerts
Worshipping: Johnny Depp, is there anything he doesn't make look cool?
Eating: 4 and 5 dollar pub pizzas
Drinking: Sophisticated red wine
Rocking: Bright coloured nail polish to remind us of summer
Reading: Our uni textbooks
Failing: To keep our parents happy...as usual.

"You know, in case you were wondering: the person whose calls you always take? That's the relationship you're in" - Nate in The Devil Wears Prada

Today was B's first day at university since she's spent the better part of her time since high school travelling overseas, which is how she met R in the first place.

It should have been a mildly good day. She wasn't aware how bady uni gets at this point. She hasn't yet experienced a mid-semester lull (the kind that convince you it's a good idea to cut off all your hair, get a massive tattoo or start dressing punk) or a 'sick semester' (6 months of coughing, sneezing and addiction to soothers). She hasn't yet gone through a windy, hungry day where the only place you want to be is bed, not in a drafty lecture theatre taking notes with a stiff hand and a crap pen. K bought her a cold apple pie for lunch so she wouldn't be hungry. She only had two classes. She took up smoking last week so she should fit right in. So it should have been an okay day.

However, B didn't end up showing up at uni at all. Talk about setting a bad trend for the rest of the semester. A usually makes it through the first day before skipping classes, and J lasts a week. If you can't make it through your first class, what hope do you have for the rest of the semester? The thing is, B was always pretty good back in high school. While everyone else was wagging classes she was doing maths problems and writing essays. That was a while ago but the principles should remain the same.

Unfortunately there's R now.

B thought R was the love of her life when they met and had planned pretty much the entire future together within knowing each other for the first month. They met in Greece, but she soon moved to Scotland for a month and then he followed her back to Australia. That was a few months ago. He moved in with B and K, virtually mooching off them until he could find a job and possibly a place of his own. Well that's what A and L thought. L actually used the term 'ripped off'. Which, fair enough. He was living in their house while B and K paid the rent and bought the food and paid the bills. It was weird when they were together but then R dumped her (something about long distance being too hard...basically it was a bullshit break-up because he just doesn't love her that much) and it got even weirder. Not only are they still living together they are acting like they're still together...except the sex.

B finds herself joining R on all of his tourist escapades such as trips to the zoo, city etc etc. A week after they broke up they drove the Great Ocean Road just the two of them! B regularly ditches girl nights in favour of movies with R. She skipped o-week to help him find a job. They are always together and act like an annoying couple. When B, R, K, J and L attended the Good Vibrations music festival she saw the bands R wanted to see rather than the ones she wanted to. L and J weren't happy with the way she was following him everywhere. K got pissed off and rfused to leave the main stage but that's probably more a reflection of her personality than the weirdness between B and R.

So anyway today B was on her way to her very first class only to get a call from R. He wants to go to the aquarium. He wants company. Because she is how she is, B drops her own life to rush off to spend the day with R. Forget she has classes. Forget she has her own life.

It is clear B wants him back but she has to move on. R has. She can't continue to be 'friends' with him until she doesn't have any feelings left for him. Everyone knows it's hard enough to be friends with an ex without one person still being in love with the other. Maybe the problem is that B refuses to admit she wants R back. She always bitches about him and claims to be 'over' him when he isn't around. But at the end of the day B is either trying to please R or piss him off. Either way R remains her priority in life even though she isn't a priority of his.