A day in the life of...

The young have something no one else has or ever will have. Time.

It's true. We are smart, beautiful and...alcoholic.

Saturday, February 5, 2011

"I'm not insane! My mother had me tested."

Cyclones in Queensland. Flash floods in Melbourne. Wacky weather all over the planet. That would never stop us.

J joined K, B and M for what was supposed to be a girl's night out, no boys allowed. Well that would be all well and good except B and K were acting weird and ignoring the other 2 for most of the night. Naturally J got pissed off at the pair of them and proceded to get extremely drunk and make out with several guys. She tried to explain to M that 'Whenever I go out with the twins and A, L and H aren't there I throw up. They just make me sick'. M thought J was being a drama queen. That and she didn't really want to hang around and look creepy watching J hook up so she went to hang out with B and K but had a miserable time as they prefered laughing at their own in-jokes and not talking to her. B and K left early and M spent an hour looking for J but couldn't find her. J doesn't exactly remember what happened except that she lost her phone and had to pay extra for the cab because she threw up in it. Going out with the twins really does make her sick.

Following the night out M invited J around to introduce her to her new friends from the bakery where she now works. M works the counter, all her friends are unsurprisingly bakers. A came along as well, for no other reason than she likes a few glasses of wine. K and B promised they'd make it but had to work late and didn't show up. Upon arriving J and A quickly realised it wasn't their sort of crowd. The conversation veered towards Xbox and computer megabytes and they were the only 2 drinking. It was like stumbling into an episode of The IT Crowd. A TV show we don't even find funny. It got even worse when M confessed she had a thing for one of the guys. It wasn't hard to see which one. She was all over one of the guys, flirting madly and pretending to share interests when she clearly didn't. She has never before used the phrase 'beta downloading' or at least we've never heard it. At least one of the guys could play the guitar. Well, he could play one song that being Oasis's Wonderwall, which A made bitchily obvious ('what, you can't play anything else?') but still. It's guitar. Anyway M didn't even make out with the guy she liked despite disappearing alone with him.

After all these social disasters and The Big Baker Theory J and A decided it was time they had a night to themselves. They started at the pub. A got busy drinking with a mother who'd forgotten her daughter's first day of school. J had to run home because she forgot her ID. She fell over on the way and didn't even get carded. They took trips in a tram with a broken window. The broken window wasn't even their fault. J vanished and A soon spotted her being felt up by a guy in the corner. A had to make her own fun. She got in a bitchfight with some random girl and managed to lock her in a bathroom stall. She then made out with some dude for 3 hours but refused to go home with him because of her stupid man-hate/no-sex thing. She also gave him a fake number and did a runner when he tried to prank call her. J got bored with the awkward guy she was first with and found a much more amusing guy to hang out with when she couldn't find A. She had a fun time with him and ended up having sex in a park (if you knew where J had been you wouldn't leave your house) and walking home in the rain at 6:30 the next morning.