A day in the life of...

The young have something no one else has or ever will have. Time.

It's true. We are smart, beautiful and...alcoholic.

Sunday, October 9, 2011

"I'm a little bit shy. A bit strange and a little bit manic"

It was the calm before the storm. A deceivingly quiet week. We were busy helping our guy friends deal with their unrequited love issues (boys can be so clueless), gossiping about J's ex Motley Crue's new haircut- that is, the no hair shave which makes his nose look massive- and listening to the bands part of the Big Day Out/Soundwave/Falls/other assorted music festival line-ups. Drinks were casual pina coladas with relatively low alcohol content. Jeans were so tight they required zippers to get them over our feet. Even L was making an appearence, enjoying short study breaks with beer. But G and A's house is just never that quiet.

Someone's always knocking on their door at 3am. This week it was neighbour footballer who was getting so rowdy and rude A had to let him in before someone called the cops. He then promptly took off his pants and told A it was time to fuck. Clearly he was on something. A lost sleep trying to get his pants back on and copped an eyefull that the gossip mags would pay good money for. She finally got rid of him but can't help but get more attracted to him the more of an asshole he acts. It probably doesn't help that pictures have been surfacing on facebook of V and a particularly attractive blonde who is so clearly not A who's rocking green hair these days.

J started getting abusive calls from someone who claimed she was fucking her husband. No doubt the jealous wife of J's older married lover. She can't deal with that kind of baggage which lead her right back to Motley Crue's arms. A one-night-stand later and she remembered why they're no longer together. He's dumb, unambitious, suburban, acts like a little kid...and now bald.

J and A dragged out a boyfriendless M and a Burberry suit wearing C for a night on the down. C showed why there's so many suspicions he bats for the other team when he kissed a guy and felt him up through tight red jeans. It was M's idea though- the guy was with E's evil ex and M wanted any opportunity to upset her. It was set up to a night of questioning sexuality and and androgyny. J shagged a glam rocker on her new shag rug. Glam rocker's hair was bigger than Jon Bon Jovi's on his best day and was wearing more make-up than was seen on the Brownlow medal blue carpet. However J needed someone who was nothing like her married square or bald Motely Crue- this guy had a genital piercing and fit the bill perfectly. A and M set many a man's tongue wagging with tequila body shots and dancing together on the bar- until M's boring boyfriend showed up and had a fit and she had to go home. A then dodged the other lesbians to hook up with a cute guy in a suit- because what law student can resist a guy who fills out a 3-piece so perfectly? No we will not grab somebody sexy and tell them hey but when Guns N' Roses' Nightrain comes on shit will go down and the cops will show up. Yeah, it's so fun getting kicked out of slubs and your alcohol taken away. Then you realise you can buy cheap wine and hang out with your new friends in the park like you used to do in high school. Except with more sex and better clothes.