A day in the life of...

The young have something no one else has or ever will have. Time.

It's true. We are smart, beautiful and...alcoholic.

Monday, September 27, 2010

"Cigarette Stained Lies"

Collingwood supporters are born, not made.

The Grand Final may be 'one day in September' but with the recent draw the the replay (AFL rules state that the entire game must be replayed one week later) means it has become...one day in October. It also means we have to repeat the booze-up BBQ and wild night we had last week yet again. It also means A isn't sure what's happening with all the bets she placed on the game, including the bet she made with Hottie from work. The bet was on money, not sex. Non-sexual, remember?

Both B and K amazingly showed up at J's BBQ. K wasn't even invited but she tagged along with B's invite. Well, at least she brought a salad. Apparently the ranga boyfriend's been giving her the shits because the sex has been continuously awful so she didn't want to go to his BBQ and well, Asian parents don't throw the best Grand Final beef-n-pie barbies do they? Still K spent a decent part of the game trying to corner J and ask her if she actually enjoyed sex because K has never enjoyed sex in her life. Well, um...yeah. Obviously J enjoys her sex life. And it obviously wasn't the right time to bring it up. It was the GRAND FINAL. It was an intense game. A pretty much did not stop screaming the entire game. At one point C smahed his glass into the wall and left a huge dent. So J pretty much ignored her, which led to K getting annoyed. No wonder she managed to get so drunk that night, thrown out by bouncers and sent home early. Again. Nothing ever changes with K does it? She's exactly the same now as she's always been.

L and H both missed the big Grand Final BBQ. L decided to go to secret admirer's house for his BBQ with his friends instead of ours. Insulting to say the least. But then L has been spending a lot of time with him lately and not that much with us. It's been pissing H off the most, but A and J aren't too pleased either. This week L has no uni but she hasn't made a single plan with her friends. Instead she's planned to spend all week with her boyfriend. Of course she has to spend time with him, but is it too much to ask to make some time with your mates? Bros before hoes and all that? As for H, she isn't really interested in footy. At least, not when her team didn't make it to the finals. Besides, H was hanging out with her new boyfriend. Yeah, H and the word boyfriend in the same sentence. She's sort of become trapped with the guy she ended up on the accidental date with. He kept leaving her voicemail messages and texts and well, they had to work together so she figured she might as well give it a go. And as it turned out, she kinda liked him. In fact, she's spent every day of the past week with him. But no one can figure out if that's because she wants to or because she feels like she has to. H is not the sort of person who spends all her time with one other person even when she likes them. She gets bored way too easily.

J is currently fighting with Bossman over his 'interest' in AFL. There's nothing we hate more than people who pretend to be interested in things they know nothing about. And Grand Final week is when all the phonies start coming in the window. Bossman, who's from Perth, has absolutely no knowledge about football and has never supported a team. But the past month he's been chatting to customers like he's an instant expert and acts surprised whenever J talks about football. For a start J has been interested in football her entire life, and watches almost every game. She's mentioned it about a thousand times and asked for Grand Final Day off about a month ago. Anyway she cracked the shits and told Bossman he'd better stop pretending to like football when it was obvious he was just trying to 'fit in' etc etc. Then he got pissed off because she was pissed off...lucky they haven't got their matching tattoos/carvings yet.