A day in the life of...

The young have something no one else has or ever will have. Time.

It's true. We are smart, beautiful and...alcoholic.

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

"Shoot like an animal macine, straight from the colours of her dream"

What's the best way to get completely and utterly off-your-face wasted? Go drinking with two different groups of people in the one night. A, G and J all managed this on the same night...without even drinking together.

J caught up with the mysterious Bossman whom she hasn't seen much of since they stopped working together. Funny, since when they were working together he was so eager and flirtatious. He has a new girlfriend now and was telling J all about their kinky sex and his nude model shoot over cocktails. They got rather smashed and were thrashing to metal music when Bossman decided to go home to his girl and J went to catch up with Druggie and Ronald McDonald who were just heading out and stone sober. They downed several gin-and-tonics until Ronald McDonald started whining about needing to go to the toilet every 3 seconds and how bad the music was and blah blah blah. Druggie popped some pills and proceeded to wipe herself out, cheating on her boyfriend and passing out in the toilet stalls. J had had so much alcohol she had no need for drugs and was dancing and grinding with several guys and having screaming arguments with Ronald. Until her stomach suddenly couldn't handle it anymore and she began throwing up on the middle of the dance floor and was poured into a cab by security.

A started her night with beer and chicken with a few guys from uni. Law students, and A in particular subscribe to the 'go hard or go home' method. 15 litres of beer later they all sort of had the shakes, but at least they'd eaten plenty of chicken to line their stomachs. A accused one of her mates of being gay and suggested another should try and hook up with L because they'd make a good couple. She may or may not have placed a cheese corn bowl on her head and ended up eith melted cheese dripping down her face. She then headed off for cocktails with work friends since apparently there was this really hot bartender. She was in fine form, starting football arguments with randoms, suggesting the hot bartender show them all his tattoos and accusing another random girl of hitting on the bartender that was clearly theirs. She also picked up a call from V and told him to fuck off and stop calling her. He told her he was horny. She threw herself in a cab and lost her memory. She woke up in V's bedroom but he told her she was too drunk to have sex. That's a first.

Since moving in with A, a 'quiet' drink at home for G means 2 bottles of wine. She shared a few quiet drinks with her boyfriend and best friend and her boyfriend before heading odd solo to a house party with some of her less nerdy uni pals. There was free beer and free pot for anyone that wanted it. G also spotted a few B-list celebrities that she swears she's read about in the pages of the Herald Sun and seen on reality TV. She was already drunk but most of her friends were sober so she got involved in drinking games that involved way too many tequila shots for even a sober person. She can't remember almost any of what happened that night but figures she must have been fine because she woke up in her own bed the next morning. Ready for work? Unlike A and J, G called in sick and spent the day hurling in the toilet. Soft.