A day in the life of...

The young have something no one else has or ever will have. Time.

It's true. We are smart, beautiful and...alcoholic.

Sunday, November 7, 2010

"You better lawyer up asshole, because I'm not coming back for 30 percent, I'm coming back for everything"

Well, it's been a hectic and stressful couple of weeks. And it's not over, not by a long shot. This is the heart of exams but of course, we're trying not to worry too much about it. Trying to do more watching Modern Family and drinking mother + green apple flavoured vodka than actual study and work because hey, we're failure right?

L is in hibernation for exams, which she often is. It's how she maintains those incredible grades of hers. Also, she's recently quit all her jobs and doesn't have any hobby/extracurricular committments, so she really has to get good marks to justify that right? She's also recently broken up with secret admirer. Everyone was naturally upset for her, because even though she wasn't hanging out with the others as much due to lack of time, secret admirer was a nice guy. And with so many assholes wandering around looking to get laid, that's a rare thing. And now that they've split up, L doesn't appear to be up for any more partying than she was previously. In fact she's said something along the lines of 'I'm over drinking' which might just be an exam thing, but who breaks up with their amazing boyfriend and doesn't even have a raging night out to get over it? Okay, maybe people under the age of 15 and over the age of 30 but that is not L or us. Maybe she's just really upset because of the break-up. Fair enough.

J has given up on full-time work. It messes with her heavy partying lifestyle. After one of those crazy nights out with A, which ended with both of them swinging from the top of toilet walls (it doesn't make sense until you've seen it) J woke up in bed with three different guys who she'd never met before. She was pretty damn proud of this. It isn't every day you land three guys in a night. Unfortunatly she ended up with a urinary tract infection, which in turn led to a kidney infection and her spending a few nights in hospital. See, everyone is getting loaded into ambulances and getting sent to the hospital lately. After that little fiasco, J decided it was time to clean up her act. Maybe join a church, stop drinking, stop having sex and ...wait...no! Of course not. It's J. She's our Samantha. Kidney infection or not, J is still hitting the clubbing scene. Which is how she was the first to find out (everyone else was examing on this particular week) that V is now running and promoting our favourite night at our favourite club. That's bye-bye great music, cheap drinks and ripping posters off the walls without being kicked out. V, popular dude as he is, has arranged it so the place is now full of all of his friends, and none of ours. No longer can we scream and dance crazily without everyone staring at us like we're freaks. No longer is the beer garden full of our favourite indie boys who roll their own cigarettes. Instead they've all been replaced with V-types, the ones who wear fluro shirts and listen to trance. A tried to stop him, of course. Upon hearing from J that he was now in charge she turned psycho, showing up in a cab all K-like, screaming and ranting and raving that V was a shit DJ, a shit person and bad in bed to boot. Which isn't even true, if you listen to her on a normal and sober day. Which, to be fair, is rare in A's case. J tried to stop A. Looks like we won't be going back there in a hurry...

Speaking of A, she's still playing her no-sex game while flirting constantly with Hottie from work. The sexual innuendo is getting completely over-the-top, especially with the new gay guy with the dirtiest mind on the planet. The three of them talk nothing but sex and A may not be having actual sex but she's eye-fucking the shit out of Hottie at least once a day. That is when she's not joking with the new gay guy. Last week they did a 'gender swap'- she wore all guys clothes (cut-off cargo shorts, t-shirt, tarten shirt and men's thongs) he wore all girls clothes (hot pink singlet, black short-shorts). She's also getting involved in uni extracurriculars, this coming from the only person in year 9 who didn't appear in the school play. She won a uni negotiation competition and is now going to the national finals, and her and her partner terrorised the competition in the latest mooting competition. Public speaking and arguing is A's forte after all.

B is playing slut, and then getting T to spread all sorts of rumours back to R, who's back living thousands of miles away. It seems absence makes the heart go fonder and B is back trying to make him jealous like she was all those months ago when they first broke up. Except, she's actually having sex which would make these guys the only ones she's slept with besides R. Well, someone has to do the guys now that A's being all virgin prude. Anyone with any form of accent, and B's in bed. It's all well and good that she's having fun but she just won't shut up about it. We all like a bit of sex talk but it's really only interesting the first time around. B's stories are interesting and entertaining the first time, but her problem is that she's a broken record always on repeat. Can we talk about something else now?

H has disappeared completely from the face of this earth. Texts and facebook messages have gone without reply, phones aren't answered and Miss Priss has helpfully informed us that H is rarely home, and no she doesn't know where the new boyfriend -aka accidental date- lives. When did she ever become the girl who ditches her friends for a guy? Oh well. She'll get bored eventually. She always does.