"Take another sip from this hobo's wine"

When does it become official that you drink too much? Is it when you are alone in a public toilet, swigging brew? Is it when your friends start to get carted away in ambulances because they simply can't keep up? Is it when every tagged photo of you on facebook seemes to involve you clutching a bottle or passed out in gutters? Is it when you think it's a good idea to light a ball of toilet paper on fire and throw it around a nightclub? Is it when bartenders have drinks ready for you by the time you make it to the bar? Or is it, horror of horrors, all of the above?

Yes it's been a busy, well few weeks to say the least.

J has been trying to rekindle her friendship with S, with the aid of Bossman who has always gotten along very well with him. J isn't sure why S hasn't been hanging around with us since he returned from Asia but she didn't want to give up on the friendship. Pity S has become a total wanker. He always was a bit of a private school twit who looked down on J for sleeping around even though he's the male version of a slut. But these days? It's so much worse. He orders mulled wine in bogan pubs and spends half his time talking in French because it's 'such a beautiful language'. We may look dumb, but we really aren't. J has been speaking fluent French for years, but she doesn't do it to impress people unlike S. S claims he loves his life and his girlfriend and doesn't need to drink but a few mulled wines later he's talking about bedding every girl in the joint. We might not quote Kurt Vonnegut or James Joyce on a daily basis, but that doesn't mean we haven't read Ulysses. It's really annoying when people think you're stupid or inarticulate, just because you're young or female or went to a public school or drink or have sex. So J has essentially decided S isn't cool enough to be her friend anymore. Unless he drops the wanker act anyway. On the plus side she's cleared the air with Bossman and told him she has no interest in sleeping with him and she's happy to be just friends. So that's settled.

Instead J decided to attempt to pick up one of A and L's uni friends at the drinking-spectacular (two words: open bar) that was the Law Ball. She got him talking about law, music and football and all would have ended well except that A was going drink for drink with his best mate. Never mind that A had already downed half a bottle of vodka for pre-drinks (and he hadn't had any), the several bottles of wine they shared ended up with the best mate being rushed to hospital in an ambulance. A felt guilty, but not as guilty as her friend and a disappointed J ended up going home alone. H found her old pretend friend uni-guy and started yelling at him across the room, only for him to disappear moments later, clearly spooked. No one really wants someone as scary as H screaming 'why did you delete me off facebook?!' at the top of her lungs. A was washing her champagne soaked legs in the sink in the bathroom, only to be caught by the uni version of miss perfect. A met her way back in first year and they were friends until A realised she was boring, got 100% on everything, disapproved of everything from alcohol to premarital sex to soft drink that wasn't diet and never ever stuffed anything up. The night of the ball she had perfect hair, a knee-length dress and had perfect posture in heels. She was also giving A that stiff, upper class look. A's hair was a tangled mess, her dress was around her hips, she can't wear heels and not fall, and she was washing her legs in the sink. But you know what? A beat the little perfect princess by one mark on the criminal law final exam last year. A true victory for the uh, screw-ups. Again, we're not as dumb as we look. L brought secret admirer as her date, and apparently they are now officially boyfriend and girlfriend. H has decided this is the reason she hasn't seen L in 4 weeks and spent much of the night bagging the crap out of secret admirer. It ended up being A, of all people, who comforted him, explaining that H takes a long time to warm up to people. If she ever does. Maybe cold comfort then?

No one's seen much of B and K, lately. J saw them 2 weeks ago but after a disastrous clubbing experience has vowed to have a 'twin-free month'. It's been surprisingly easy what with them having moved back home. K apparently has a new boyfriend...yet again. This one is twice her height, a ranga, and never calls or texts her back. So a typical K choice then.

Tonight we've found a club doing a hobo-themed night. So essentially exactly our thing. Forget fancy arse balls, we're all about ripped stockings and cheap beer. Bring it on, the scummier the better.

"Well I did if I loved but I never dreamed there Would be someone there who would catch my attention I wasn't out searching for love or affection"

The truth about A and GAGA

It's funny when you find your perfect match. J and Justin may still not be sleeping together (J has come down with a nasty bug, and refuses to sacrifice her Saturday nights for a guy) but, though they've known each other way less A and Gaga have turned out to be perfect together. Meaning, of course, that they aren't actually together at all...
A has always been the sort of person who bumbles through life, certain that everything will end up okay and not worrying too much about anything. Possibly because in her life, everything has worked out eventually. She never studies or attends classes, and somehow manages to get great marks. She always leaves everything to the absolute last second but never panics and always gets things done on time, usually with about 60 seconds to spare. She's never had problems with depression or self-confidence. She just doesn't really panic or worry. She can have huge fights and confrontaions with people but is usually over it the next day. As it turns out, Gaga is exactly the same. Relaxed and chill and easy-going he just lets life float along in the hope things will just work out.
Of course, there's a reason opposites usually attract. In every relationship (friendships included) there is a chaser and a chasee. For example, K is always the chaser. She's the one who calls and makes plans and makes sure there is actually a relationship. A is the exact opposite. She never makes the first call. She'll always reply text messages and return calls, she'll always show up when she says she will but she just can't be bothered making the first effort. It's true with guys and it's true with her friends. the only problem? Gaga is the same. He won't be sending the first text or making dates with A. He just bumbles along and so does she. It's working at the moment because they hang out with J and Justin (or meet with them and go and do their own thing) so there's no real effort on anyone's part.
So A and Gaga have fun hanging out in bars (playing pool) and beds (playing other games) but will they ever be a real couple?
Probably not. A doesn't want a 'relationship' anyway.

A weekend without B and K

Friday was football, beer aand meat pies, with a few cocktails after. Nothing too exciting. For a change.

Saturday
J, A, M and H went out to a club they knew everyone they knew was going to. All of them dressed in black (it's winter yeah) they were prepared for a good night after pre-pre-drinks and pre-drinks involving slabs of energy drinks, bottles of wine, and about a litre of cheap and nasty gin. H had to work until 11pm so she joined the other later after sculling a bottle of white wine. Goon just isn't classy. it was a long night of dancing and bumping onto family friends and uni friends. J flashed her new snake tattoo (done Friday) in exchange for other tattoo flashers although she got a bit more flesh than she bargained for in some cases. A caught out an underage family friend. M met a bitchy girl she used to do singing lessons with who was really drunk, and somehow convinced her to make-out with a realy fug guy who was following them around. H showed up with enthusiastic dance moves but wasn't happy with a guy in a backpack on the dancefloor but soon got rid of him when Rage Against the Machine came on. J ignored numerous phone calls from Justin but they ended up meeting up with him and his friends (he's a persistant one, definitely the chaser) for pizza and gatorade/powerade. A went home with Gaga while J brushed Justin off and slept at H's, much to the dismay of Miss Priss when she discovered J on the couch in the morning. Somehow J managed to turn on the charm and convince Miss Priss to make her french toast, blueberries and cream for breakfast before heading off to work with the boss she hooked up with last week. Surprisingly it wasn't awkward (proving it's only awkward if you make it awkward) although J is now trying to convince Bossman to break up with his loser girlfriend so she can move in with him. He has an awesome apartment but not that awesome.

L went with one of her other friends to the birthday party of a friend from university. He's noy exactly the most amazing guy. He's a bit of a prick and wanker and overly articulate (like many a law student- but not L of course!) and seems to really hate A for some reason. A doesn't like him much either. Anyway the party turned out to be up 7 flights of stairs which is a big mistake when alcohol is invloved. Uni-guy was present and L got spooked even though he didn't say a word to her. He casually ignored her just as he's been ignoring all of us lately. The main reason L went is she's heavily attracted to one of the birthday boy's friends. The only problem? Well, other than the fact that she's never spoken to him A and H (the only two who've met him) are convinced he's gay. A can usually pick a gay from a mile off (so can J but that's another story) and the signs (him being overly fashionable and sitting with his legs crossed) but L is sure he isn't gay. Anyway she thought she could 'find out the truth' at the party. L isn't much good at crazy plans so she spent most of the night obsessing over every tiny little bit of his behaviour while huddled in the corner so he (and uni-guy) wouldn't spot her. Whe she couldn't just ask the guy, or hell the birthday boy, is unclear. Why she didn't have a better plan is unclear. Why she couldn't just go and hit on him is unclear. Anyway after spending all night hiding, L learned nothing of note. He didn't do anything 'obviously gay' although he did hug another guy so now L is more confused than she was initially. Hugging another guy is no real sign that he is gay, but for whatever reason L went from thinking he was straight to now 'fairly sure' he's gay. Huh. Really, the mystery continues. Along with the mystery over uni-guy and why he's been barring everyone.

So many unanswered questions, so little time.

"Today you're just some bitch who broke my heart and cut up my mother's wedding dress"

"I'm in a relationship and I'm not having sex! This is my worst nightmare!" - J

It's been awhile...it's a busy time of year. Between mid-semester exams, ANZAC Day, partying like it's 1999 and just being ourselves there hasn't been a lot of free time or Dan Murphy's runs. Which may be why the liqour cabinets are looking suspiciously empty and forcing everyone to shot down Jamacian rum.

J's had a busy few weeks pursuing a...relationship. Let's call him Justin, thanks to his obsession with the supposedly sixteen pop sensation Justin Beiber. Yeah, it's odd when a twenty-something girl is into his music. A twenty something guy? Questions have to be asked. They met at a club, typical for J, and started making out, typical for J. That's when things decided to get less-than-typical. She's invited him to Thursday night drinks the last two weeks. The consensus: He's cute. J is going to break his heart. Justin is just too much of a nice guy. He wants to take things slow because it didn't work out with his last girlfriend. He wants cuddles and movies and long conversations. J just wants sex. She's spent the night at his house, in his bed, twice but they haven't done anything more than kiss. Not due to J's lack of effort, Justin just wants to take things 'slow.' J is starting to get impatient. Last week out clubbing with K and some uni friends she bumped into her old almost-fuck-buddy Y, and they ended up hooking up. That is until J fell over due to a freshly cleaned floor (someone threw up, no one we know!) and instead of helping her up Y just walked away! It made J appreciate Justin, who would certainly never leave her in a heap on the floor. Y is an arsehole. Still, just because she appreciates Justin doesn't mean J wants to be with him. When he last night introduced her to his friends as his 'girlfriend' and they responded "Oh, you must be J" she got a little weirded out. After all, they still aren't having sex. J doesn't want a relationship she wants a fuck buddy. Justin better be willing to put out soon or...let's just say it's easy to feel sorry for him.

K and B are in what you may call a twin bitchfight. It all started when K found out that everyone's been hanging out with E lately. She really doesn't deserve to be pissed off since it's been ages since they broke up and it's not like anyone's forcing her to hang out with him. Still, for whatever reason she decided to blame it on B even though it's not her fault at all. K finally told R to get the fuck out of their house. Although he's been living with them since the beginning of the year he's been keeping his distance lately, probably afraid H will abuse him and kick him out again. Anyway R decided to move in with T, K and B's sister. There really is no escaping him although K is doing a very good job. B has been hanging around with T and R a lot, going to the football and music concerts with them rather than everyone else. She still sees R more often than say J or L. Basically B cracked the shits at K telling her it wasn't up to her to kick R out. This led to several screaming matches about who's in charge and what who's allowed to do and so on. Now K refuses to go out with B in a social setting. It probably didn't help when B started mocking her and telling everyone how she failed her driver's test when everyone knows how much K wants to drive.

Speaking of driving, L just got her licence and hasn't been drinking since designating herself the deignated driver. Poor form L. She also had a job interview at a prestigious law firm and was really excited until she learned said job would be making presentations to rooms of 150 elderly people...in Italian. SHe'll probably still take the job, which should fit in nicely to her already bloated timetable of uni, volunteer work and boozing it up.

H has just moved house, yet again. It's kind of unfortunate because her old house was awesome and really big, but unfortunately too expensive. Her new place is this tiny little apartment in a good (way better) location but it just doesn't have the size that her old place did so we can't all crash there which means way more money spent on cabs. Plus, H's old roomate was this eccentric pothead who was a bit of a recluse but everything he said was extremely amusing. H's new roomate is this really uptight girl who wears her hair in a really tight frenchbraid. Probably a cliche but she's still annoying. One wonders how H could possibly last...

A hasn't had many 'experiences' of late. Between suddenly working extra shifts because the store she works in has been demoted to a clearance store and exams and chem labs every weekend she's getting frantic keeping up, though slightly less broke. Always seen around the booze though A has become obsessed with asking randoms whether they like Guns N Roses and abusing the crap out of them if they say no. She also physically assaulted a guy who had the nerve to suggest she looked Canadian when trying to hit on her. She also bumped into uni-guy and tried to say hi but he turned and ran in the other direction. What is going on there?

"We gonna sip bacardi like it's your birthday"

The weekend began with a blur of screaming football supporters, downing shots of bacardi at warehouse parties and racing around the city to wish M a happy birthday. The weekend ended with a large pile of homework: law cases, chemistry spectrums and a shitload of Spanish vocabulary.

It was a reflection of the week to come.

L and A spent several days knee-deep in law cases, trying to write their mid-semester exams at 3am and write up their moot submissions (mooting is like a mock legal battle apparently) at the same time. A lot of coffee and no sleep later they ended up in front of a judge with overly-articulate opponents spouting law/cases/facts they didn't understand and covering concepts they hadn't anticpated. It was an 'oh fuck' moment for both of them while they tried to scramble enough words together to make a comprehensible sentence that wouldn't get them laughed out of court. In the end they managed to get their shit together and kick-arse. It's always an advantage to be able to think on your feet and lie through your teeth with a smile. Despite the other teams being 'lawyers' from their tight ties to their wanker shoes, A and L were the ones who ended up on top. Guess the sleepless nights were worth it.

J is at war with her Spanish tutor who thinks she's useless, dumb and doesn't apply hereself. The last is probably true. J takes Spanish because of the hot guys and the socialisation, not to learn her fourth language (English, French and Italian). The funny thing is she's getting great marks which is probably what's pissing her tutor off more than anything else. No teacher likes the kids who sit up the back making sarcastic remarks only to top the class on the exam.

H keeps seeing uni-guy on the bus. Okay, it's been twice, but still. He's been completely barring H, going as far as to pointedly turn his head away when she waved. H is insulted. After attending his party she'd thought they'd gone from pretend friends to actual friends. Well, acquaintances anyway. But apparently he's deleted her off facebook. In the modern-age that's like saying 'have a nice life'. If she sees him again and pretends not to know her...well, it's H. Anything could happen.

Last night J and B headed out for dinner, drinks and dancing. Oh and men. But that doesn't start with 'd'. There is anothber word I could have used...Anyway they had an surprisngly good time considering they haven't been getting along that well lately. Actually B has been out of everyone's loop. She bailed on the football. She bailed on M's birthday. She didn't even show up Thursday night drinks. It's suspected she's been hanging around with R, but she wouldn't admit that to people who are sick of hearing his name. Someone on the dancefloor was wearing a backpack, which pissed off J and made her wish A was there to get rid of him. Someone threw a plate of dumplings at B. She ate them.

Tonight K's holding a dinner party. Beef wellington (inspired by MasterChef no doubt), us and R. It should be fun, so long as R doesn't say anything at all.

"Christ! Does it always have to be about them? Just give me a call when you're ready to talk about something besides men" Miranda in Sex and the City

With the mid-semester slump hitting us a week earlier than expected, everyone is starting to freak out a little. The feeling of frustrated helplessness that occurs at this point in the semester is back, with all of us daydreaming of the beach and staying in bed rather than facing the day. Who wants to go to class when it's raining? Who wants to sit on-line tests or read textbooks or write essays even if they're due that day? Not us. So rugged up in our brand new scarfs and leather jackets, and armed with mint-flavoured coffee (creme de menthe) we're ready to party.

Friday
H attended uni guy's house party which turned out to be one of the wildest parties she'd been to in like a week. She took along E, because she figured it would be safe to hang around with him now that K has a new boyfriend. The party was one of those ones where no one really needed to drink because everyone was on ice or ecstasy or whatever their drug of choice happened to be. There were pills everywhere and pretty soon E and this other chick were having sex in the corner in fron of everyone, not that anyone seemed particularly bothered. H decided to hang out in the garden where someone had started a huge bonfire and someone was apparently burning dead bird carcasses. Because you know, even that smell is better than watching some guys attempt to shuffle. That was about the last thing she remembers until waking up in a KFC, missing half her clothes and with a new nose piercing. Later someone told her she'd hooked up with one of uni guy's mates who looks like Alice Cooper. As for E, he's going to be spending the next week waiting for the results of an STI check. Nasty.

K went out with end-of-the-train-line and spent the night at his house. She insisted on sleeping on the couch and he wasn't too happy. She asked him point-blank if he only wanted her for sex. His reply? "I want sex but it's not all I want. I mean you're amazing, how could I not want to have sex with you?" They're supposed to be going out on Wednesday but K is now worrying that their relationship is going too fast, physically not emotionally. After all "No one wants to marry thr girl who sleeps with them in 2 weeks". We doubt that's actually true but anyway...

A and J went concerting. They met a pair of what they thought were cool Italian guys and ended up going for drinks afterwoods. One beer later and it was clear they weren't going anywhere but home. When a guy tries to feel you up in front of his friend and your friend when you've only known him an hour and only had one drink it spells sleaze and trouble. A and J called it a night then and there.

T and B ended up staying at home to watch the wog boy. T also invited R, so B had to put up with him for the night. She doesn't have the balls to tell her sister she doesn't want to see R anymore. Of course, she also doesn't have the guts to tell R she wants him out of the house.

L had a family reunion to attend. She didn't drink and didn't meet anyone fun.

Saturday

J, A, H, L, C, E, P and S all got together for expresso martinis at H's place. H's roomate was there as well, but didn't really join in the fun. He's a bit of a recluse and tends to stay in his room smoking pot. This suits H, who doesn't have the time or the personality to deal with the same person every day. They ended up playing "I never..." the drinking game with apple pie shots (we do cinnamon sprinkled on tongue followed by a shot of vodka and a shot of apple juice). The game goes something like saying "I never (something, like say, had sex on a playground)" and then whoever has done it has a drink. Needless to say everyone got very drunk rather quickly, especially S who's a lightweight. It also got rather awkward on "I've never wanted to have sex with someone I work with" and S drinks while looking straight at J. That was game over because J is trying to avoid sleeping with S. P then dragged everyone off to a gay bar where there was dancing, but C wasn't happy because everyone was hitting on him. E wasn't happy because no one was hitting on him, but really he'd had enough action for the weekend hadn't he?

Sunday

There are only two seasons we care about: summer and footy season. This weekend, the footy was back, so A, B and K headed off to one game while H and L headed off to the pub to watch another. Going to the footy is an excellent experience, because it's one of the places you can scream out your aggression and no one can tell you off for it. It's one of the best places you yell out the frustration from the mid-semester slump. At the footy, we really are one of the boys, complete with overpriced beer and mear pies. Or, in K's case, chocolate biscuits and potato chips. What kind of Australian doesn't like meat pies?

After the game A,B, K joined J (who was working) for Brandy Alexanders and to gossip about K and end-of-the-train-line. Unfortunately, B kept bringing up R. Because J wasn't pissed off enough at her to begin with. Before J could even tell her off though, A got in. "B we are so sick of talking about R. It's done. It's over. We want to talk about K's new boyfriend now." B got insulted and walked off. No one chased after her, especially not J. In fact, she hadn't uttered a word to B all night. B still hasn't apologised to J about the texting incident. She probably never will. The night ended shortly after that.

Now it's Monday and back to uni. One more week until Easter Break. It's the only thing keeping us together. That and our mint-flavoured coffee.

"You're one...just one step in front of me" Gyroscope- OK

Is uni-guy stalking A? After spending four hours at uni yesterday (attending 3 hours of classes...when she was timetabled for 5) she managed to see him not once, not twice but six times. He was sitting right behind her on the tram. He was smirking at her from the coffee shop as she ran to class. She ran into him as she was leaving class. He was sitting only a few feet away from her while she ate lunch. After she passed him in a corridoor he started following her all the way to a lecture theatre. Then he was sitting right in front of her during the lecture. What on earth is going on? A, being A, decided to confront him and asked him why he was following her around. After all, she'd never actually spoken to him before and had tended to actually avoid him following H acting like his friend when she didn't actually know him. The response? "I guess it was just a coincidence. But aren't you V's girlfriend?" V's girlfriend?? Not exactly the title A wants. In fact pretty much the last thing she ever wants to hear. Looks like she's going to be off V and in the process of hating him for awhile yet. No dinner for you A.

L has been having problems with the neighbourhood dog lately. Not a pitbull or a rottweiler like you might expect, but a little fluffy maltese puppy. With very sharp teeth. On both Monday and Tuesday the dog chased her all the way down the street to the tram stop, leaving L too afraid to leave her house. Today she decided to walk a different way, only to be stung by a rogue bee when she fell into a bush. It's just not L's week. She's decided she's going to stay home and study this weekend, all the better to not get eaten by a dog.

Last night J went out with P and they got up to their usual antics. P has a boyfriend but that doesn't make him any less wild. Half-price margaritas and tacos can make anyone a little crazy. They club-hopped to three different places before ending up in a salsa dance club. After they heated up the dance floor everyone was convinced they were a couple which didn't make J too happy because none of the guys were hitting on her. On the maccas run home she was so disappointed that the guys weren't paying her any attention that she started flirting with the guy who served her. As P put it bluntly "no one fucks the maccas guy". J was ashamed, she usually has much better taste than that. Her week got considerably worse when her favourite bartender decided to go shopping in the store where she works...with his girlfriend. The girlfriend spent an hour looking at clothes and asking 'does my butt look big in this' while J cringed and hid behind half unpacked boxes of stock. It doesn't seem to be her week either. is bad luck contagious?

As for B, R is back. He disappeared for a week but it turns out he was in Tasmania doing some walks (well really, what else is there to do there?) and now he has returned. He wants to move back in with B and K (well who wouldn't? Their place is a good size and they don't make him pay rent) and has apologised for making B feel bad. What does that even mean? R explained how he wanted to remain friends and blah blah blah. Essentially he talked her in to letting him live with her again. Does she never learn? K hasn't found out yet, but she will and there's going to be hell to pay. K doesn't want R in her, or B's life. Who can blame her? K had a little crush on R before he and B got together. It was actually more intense than your average crush (then again, it always is with K, she thinks every guy is her soul mate) but she stopped talking about it when B and R got together. She never seemed that happy about their relationship (jealousy) but was even less happy when they broke up. After all the effort H went to in getting rid of him it is especially irritating to have him back like nothing ever happened.

G invited N on a double date with her boyfriend and one of his friends. This was bound to end badly. G's boyfriend's friend is kind of a loser. H went on out on two dates with him last year and summed it up "He doesn't go to uni, he doesn't work and appears to have no ambitions. What's the point? He isn't even good in bed." In addition, N isn't exactly great at dating. She's lovely, but very shy and especially around guys. Since the double date was dinner and required talking it was pretty much a freefall into hell. Since G hates an awkward silence, she spent most of the night desperatly grabbing at straws ('you need to breathe? well so does N!') while everyone else knew that the only way to get out of such a disaster was to cut your losses and go home.

In the end, it really isn't anyone's week is it?

"Bizzare, what some men find attractive" - Natasha in Bridget Jones' Diary

Today A went out for dinner with V. We probably wouldn't have even known about it had it not been for later occurances, since A often tries to hide her private life. Well, with V anyway. It's probably due to the love/hate on/off nature of their non-relationship. On Saturday she was talking about 'flattening him like a pancake' and not in a good way. Now shes's...well whatever.

A claimed the only reason she went out for dinner with V was because she was hungry and he asked her (apparently out of the blue). A has been playing what we've been referring to as a 'lovegame' lately (lady gaga anyone?) where she can only eat dinner if a guy takes her out to eat. It's actually partly a diet, an idea we stole from Bridget Jones. Whether it's the book or the movie no one can remember but there's this scene where Daniel Cleaver suggests she lose weight by only eating on dates. This way she'll get thin and get more dates...some kind of circular format. We thought it'd be amusing to try on A since she's so obsessed with food. It's been saving her money but driving her crazy and we have to agree that after Saturday night it was probably only starvation that got A to accept dinner from V.

H has been building a pretend friendship with a guy who goes to uni with A and L. He also happens to be a friend of V's because, well, V knows everyone. H is doing it purely to amuse herself. Basically whenever she sees the guy, let's call him uni guy, she yells out his name and starts waving wildly as if she knows him. It's quite hilarious as he, usually drunk, tries to figure out where he knows her from. She also has quick chats with him every now and then, usually consisting of a 'hey how are you' or 'hows uni?'. The only term that can accurately describe the expression on uni guy's face when he sees her is 'spooked'. Well, a few days ago H continued along her merry way by adding him on facebook. This way she figured she could take their pretend friendship to new levels which of course means new levels of amusement. Only he rejected her. H wasn't happy and made it her mission to find out why. She decided to sacrifice their pretend friendship and told him the truth (H always has been very blunt) about how she was using him to get a laugh but why didn't he add her on facebook? The reason? Noting V was a mutual friend uni guy asked V who the hell H was. His answer? Something along the lines of

"Christ, don't add her! She's a nutcase. That whole group is fucking crazy!"

Huh. Thanks, V.

So on their 'dinner date' A couldn't help but ask why he was paying them all out to practical strangers. After all there's no way we're actually crazy...right? A is not exactly the most subtle person (rather like H) so she was rather upfront in her delivery. "Why the hell are you and uni guy bitching about all of us and calling us psycho-stalker-bitches? We're not fucking crazy!" Which led to V noting that we aren't exactly completely sane and sitiuations that we manage to get ourselves into. Like the time A got drunk, threw up on a bus and got into a fight with a group of school kids. At 2pm...Or the time J was fired from her job as a waitress for having sex with a chef and causing him to burn someone's chicken. Or the time H went skinny dipping with the son of our high school principal...and got caught. Or the time B ended up on a drug bust with people who would later go on to star in Underbelly. Or the time K stalked a guy...like every week. Okay so we're not completely sane. What about V? He tried to skateboard off the roof of a three-story building once. And once he got pulled over by the cops for driving recklessly because some chick was giving him head.

Maybe sometimes honestly isn't the best policy...But let's just say V at least made it up to A for calling us crazy. And H got a call from uni guy inviting her to a party on the weekend. So maybe we are crazy. But we have fun with it.